Parents Weekend Prep Guide: Everything You Need to Know to Prepare for a Parents Weekend Visit

You might be a seasoned college parent like we are or maybe you're brand new to this phase of parenting, regardless, attending your child's college Parents Weekend is a bit of a milestone event. It's a chance for you to get to step into your student's world, get a peek at their day-to-day life, and reassure both of you that everyone is adjusting. It's also a great time to remind your boys to wash their sheets and towels more often and for the girls to beg for some shopping time...you know, for bonding and stuff! You'll be reminded of how expensive kids are and while you'll roll your eyes at the total as you stock them up on supplies, you'll be grateful for that little squeeze and quiet thank you.
But keeping it totally real, sometimes planning a visit to your child's college campus isn't always simple. Especially if you are like us, and are visiting from out of state. You'll need to navigate hotel bookings and campus schedules and try to manage emotions {yours and theirs}, and there's a lot to think about and keep in mind. After going through this many many times and talking with other parents in the same boat, I've gathered my best tips to help you prepare for a smooth and memorable Parent's Weekend experience.

Parents Weekend Prep Guide: Everything You Need to Know to Prepare for a Parents Weekend Visit

If you're sending your child out of state to college, start here! 

I'm going to start this by saying that some students don't care if you come for Parents Weekend, but they probably do care that you come. My husband doesn't love crowds, so going to a university on a scheduled date that draws the crowds, might not be the most enjoyable experience. So...

Create Your Own Parents Weekend!

It's ok to come to campus at a time that fits better with your schedule {and maybe your budget!}. We have gone to campus to visit our kids on Parents Weekends, and we've also gone and created our own parents weekend. Since all three of our kids have gone out of state, we've found that most Parents Weekends are generally just a few weeks after school has started. It's been more important to me to move my kids in and be available for that adjustment versus coming a few weeks later to see how things are going. 
Our daughter had several sorority events throughout the year and that was more important for her to have me there for those, versus visiting in mid September. 
Our youngest son is a pilot, and his school hosts an aviation parents weekend complete with aviation activities, and if the weather is nice, a flight with him!
Talk with your kids about what is important to them. Maybe it IS important that you come to a scheduled Parents Weekend because otherwise they'd be the only student without someone on campus for them. Simply have the conversation and set the expectation. 

Book Early!

The moment you know the date for Parents Weekend, book your accommodations. Hotels near campus often fill up months in advance, especially in college towns where options are limited. If hotels are booked, check Airbnb or Vrbo for more personal {and sometimes more affordable} options. You might also try asking local Facebook groups or college parent pages for recommendations.

Pro tip: If you’re flying, book your flights early to and double-check your arrival and departure times to maximize the weekend. It's almost like airlines look at the campus schedule and jack up the prices!

Coordinate With Your Student and Be Flexible

Your college student has a life that doesn't revolve around you anymore! And knowing that college is most important, taking into consideration their class schedule, study groups, club meetings or even work shifts during Parents Weekend.

You can get a general idea of their availability and plan around it, but be flexible and allow plans to shift.

I've learned that unstructured time is usually best, because some of the best moments happen in the in between times. Grab a coffee or walk across campus and just get a glimpse into their new life.

Still visiting colleges? Here's how to plan the perfect college visit!

Get a Grasp on the Schools Schedule of Events

With three kids and three very different out of state universities, I've found that every school is very different in the events that they plan for Parents Weekend. If your student is involved in a sorority or a fraternity, those chapters might have additional events for parents as well. 

I've learned that just because Bingo with the dean sounds fun to me, doesn't mean that my kiddo is going to want to make time for that! Keep in mind that your student might have made their own plans and have their own set of things they'd like to show you on campus, and that might mean skipping the more organized activities and that's just fine. Remember, the goal is to spend time with your student!

Many schools do plan football games {or other sporting events}, open classes, campus tours, family picnics and dinners, and maybe career fairs. You don't have to do everything on the agenda, but maybe make time for an event or two. 

Pro tip: They might complain when you suggest doing a school sponsored activity but I've found that they usually roll out the red carpet for parents and the activities can be quite fun. And if nothing else, they usually have a nice backdrop for a quick photo.

Ask Ahead for Anything They Might Need

Even though your student thought they got everything they needed when they left home the first time, they might have settled in and realized they forgot a thing or two. It's the perfect time to pack a few things from home for them. You might also want to ask if there's anything they are missing from home. I know my son stocks up on his favorite Trader Joe's snacks anytime he's home on break, and he's often needing replacements when I come visit. 

You might also want to plan some time to head to the local super store to stock up on the personal items they might have run out of already. This is another good reason to plan this visit NOT on a campus scheduled parents weekend visit, but on your own terms, because your student will be more settled and might have already had to go to their store for a replacement item or two and will appreciate the parental credit card. It's always funny to hear from my kids {all three of them have done it!} at various times ask me if I knew how much xyz was-literally baffled at the expense. The current kid can't believe how expensive dental floss is! 

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Eat Like a Local

It doesn't matter how great the dorm food is, or how much you are paying for a meal plan, your student is tired of eating on campus. I promise! If you can, ask your student where they want to go and make reservations if possible. 

Parents Weekend can mean long lines and long waits, especially at the popular spots, so be prepared! 

Don't forget to invite a new friend or two along! It's a great way to invest and support those new relationships in your students life. 

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Create a Tradition

Traditions are kind of a fun way of staying connected as a family. I've tried to create traditions with each of our kids at their college campuses as a way to set the tone for current and future visits. Some of these traditions started during college tours before they even decided to commit to their particular school. Again, since we are out of state, they generally have to do with places we don't have at "home", so they feel a bit novel.

For example, our oldest son went to Baylor University. We visited three Texas college campuses on our tour and ate Torchy's Tacos for every meal. I'm not joking. I gained five pounds! So anytime we'd visit him thereafter, we'd go to Torchy's at least once.  

Our youngest son is at school in North Dakota and they have a Scheel's, a sporting goods store we don't have on the west coast. On our campus visit we popped in because we had no idea what the place even was. We were surprised there was a small bowling alley inside. And now we go bowling at Scheel's on every visit!

Embrace the Awkward Moments

College students can be weird. And things can feel weird as they navigate their newfound independence with the people who they once needed so fiercely, but now, not so much. I promise you, your student will be grateful you are there. 

This is also a great time to remember that while they USED to need you to keep them alive, they've been doing a pretty great job of it on their own lately. So make sure you aren't just lecturing them, but instead use this as a time to learn to bite your tongue and offer support and cheer them on as they navigate life on their own. I'm telling you, it's good practice as a parent with young adult kids! 

Setting Boundaries for College Kids Home on Break

Bring Your Walking Shoes

If you joined in on campus visits, you'll remember that there is a lot of walking in college! College campuses are often spread out, and parking spaces are limited. Don't forget to dress for the weather too and bring layers.

Plan for any of the extras. If you are attending a game, find out if there's a color the students are wearing for the game and join in! Have any clear bags or warm blankets as needed!

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Capture the Weekend-But Respect Their Space

Of course you want to take photos, but your kids may not want to take part in an all out photo shoot in front of the library while their peers are walking by! 

Let your student take the lead on the weekend. Some kids may want to take you to every class and walk you through their day, while others may want to just get the heck off of campus!

You are visiting them, let them be the host.

End on a Good Note

When it's time to say goodbye, keep it light but loving. Tell them that you're proud of them and give them examples of how you've noticed them maturing and growing as they have gotten settled in. You can even slip them a treat, give them a little cold hard cash or put a handwritten note in a drawer for them to find later. 

Don't forget, Parents Weekend isn't the only time to visit. You can plan a spontaneous visit later in the year. And there's always Facetime to stay connected.

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Parents Weekend is more than just a few days on campus, it's a time to celebrate all the things your student has accomplished and it gives you a chance to reconnect in a new phase of life. It's ok if it's emotional, awkward, joyful or all of the above!

Approach it with an open heart, a flexible schedule and plan on buying lots of stuff from food to gear. And parents, don't forget to step back and be proud of those kids you raised. You did it. You raised a college student. You should be proud of yourself!

Don't miss this: Free Resources for College Students

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