Our Dog Has Cancer-Starting to Say Goodbye to a Family Pet

I begged and pleaded for a family dog for the better part of three years. I'd pick up lost dogs and what I thought were strays but turned out to be coyotes too many times to count {well, I only tried to "save" a coyote once, I'm not a lunatic!}. But my husband told me that if the Obama's could wait to move into their new home to get a dog, we could too. A few days after moving in, I got a response from an inquiry I placed about a 12 week old golden retriever puppy that was for sale and two days later we brought Sophie home. And now she's dying. Sophie has cancer.

My dog has cancer

I'm not quite sure any of us were prepared to get the results of the biopsy. We noticed a large lump on her chest that went from squishy to hard within a few days. Sophie didn't seem uncomfortable, just more tired. Which honestly, seems close to impossible with her since she happily sleeps most of the day away normally. 

When you welcome a dog into the family, you know the inevitable day will come. We just thought we had more time. Sophie isn't even eight and the average life span of golden retrievers is closer to 10 or 12.  Now we are faced with the question of when to intervene.

When do you intervene when your dog has cancer?

I guess the hope was that she would die quickly and peacefully in her sleep at home after living a long full life chasing waves and chewing bones. Cancer doesn't give us that option. It's going to be a slow decline and at some point, we are going to have to make a proactive decision to end her life.

There is a heavy emotional weight that is just pressing in our home right now. I feel it when we decide to only buy one more bag of her food instead of buying in bulk or when we sent our son off to college knowing that Sophie may not be with us when he comes home at Thanksgiving and seeing what could have been their last goodbye. 

The time is coming to say goodbye to our dog

I can't stop looking at pictures of Sophie. When we are away from home I feel a longing to be with her because we just don't know how much time we have left with her. I've thought about the endearing habits she has, the favorite spots we've discovered together, but above all, I've considered the unquestioning devotion Sophie has given us. She's filled our home and our hearts with joy and we just aren't ready yet to face the loss.

Sometimes we think about what life will be like when we don't have Sophie. Will we miss the endless hair tufts floating across the floor? How long will we find her toys lodged in cracks? What will it be like to not start our day picking off dog fur from our clothes? I honestly don't even want to think about these things because it's too hard to imagine not having her presence in our lives. 

She's not just a dog

We've loved her hard and we will keep loving her until her very last breath. We will be present with her with no other intention than to continue to be a witness to her life. We've seen her from her first weeks and we will see her into her dying days with compassion and love. Sophie isn't just a dog, she's been a part of our family and we will miss her dearly. Our dog has cancer and we will be there for her, just like she's been a constant companion for us. 
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